Welcome! Please come in! ...come in! Lexi & Ben are back and talking about Animal Crossing. Covering all the most important topics: Brewster's milk (what?), Pietro's murderous disposition, Kapp'n's demonic origins, K.K.'s nudist bent and much, much more. Don't miss it! ...miss it!
Welcome! Please come in! ...come in! Lexi & Ben are back and talking about Animal Crossing. Covering all the most important topics: Brewster's milk (ick), Pietro's murderous disposition, Kapp'n's demonic origins, K.K.'s nudist bent and much, much more. Don't miss it! ...miss it!
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"Oh this ain't good-bye. I will see you again. That's how it goes whenever yer my friend."
DM_E14_Dōrkbutsu no Mori+
Sun, 1/30 9:38PM • 1:08:39
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
Animal Crossing, game, Brewster, people, island, villagers, character, creepy, feel, walk, Pokémon, find, play, dork
SPEAKERS
Voiceover, Ben, Lexi, Game Show Voiceover
Voiceover 00:00
[Dork Matters theme music, Dance by YABRA plays] [echoing] Dork Matters.
Ben 00:31
My toddler has been going through something and we have had many sleepless nights and very tantrum-y days after what had seemed like a breakthrough with him. After Fox came home, the second baby, everything seemed chill. He was sleeping great, napping great, and just happy all day, and then, like, something happened in the last three or four days and it's just been like... One day there was 13 recorded, like, lay-on-the-ground, screaming, kicking, just like red-face tantrums.
Lexi 01:02
Wow. [video game bloops]
Ben 01:03
And that's one of the most soul sucking things of being a parent. Yeah, it's been wild, so if he wakes up and just loses it, Fiona's got the baby, and there's nothing--
Lexi 01:15
Yeah. You do what you gotta do.
Ben 01:16
Yeah. How've you been? I take it you're working from home due to the state of health in the world?
Lexi 01:23
Yes. Yes, working from home, when and where possible.
Ben 01:26
Are you mandated to working at home, or...?
Lexi 01:29
Ah, it's hard to say because I'm, technically, like, system support staff right now, and so...
Ben 01:36
Yeah.
Lexi 01:38
I've been told, in the past, that they would consider me a super spreader, like, 'cause I was going out to different places to visit, and so if I picked up a virus at one site and carried it to, like, multiple other ones, then I could knock out, like, several communities. But then, at the same time, too, I don't know. So it's... Things change.
Ben 01:56
Nobody's told you to come into the office.
Lexi 01:58
I was told, until otherwise, like, specifically told to go in, to consider to just stay at home, if that makes sense.
Ben 02:07
Oh, wow. That's wild.
Lexi 02:09
Yeah.
Ben 02:10
I wouldn't have expected that.
Lexi 02:11
It's a crazy world, and, you know, we're all just getting through the days, day by day, minute by minute.
Ben 02:18
Minute by minute.
Lexi 02:20
I'm really hoping that some very rich, eccentric benefactor will be like, "Hey. What if I gave Lexi and Ben a couple of million dollars to do some, like, you know, podcasting/comic book/book writing?" So I'm really just kind of [clicks tongue] hoping that that happens. [game show winner dinging]
Game Show Voiceover 02:43
Winner.
Ben 02:43
Yeah, I feel you.
Lexi 03:23
Yeah. We started watching Archive 81 on Netflix, and it's about a gentleman who fixes crap, audio files, or old tapes and cassettes, and he gets into a bit of a mystery and basically, like, all the static and crap things happening on computer and recordings, it's actually, like, ghosts and shit.
Ben 03:45
Oh.
Lexi 03:45
So maybe we're just being haunted.
Ben 03:48
Yeah, maybe we're being haunted. I don't care for it, to be honest. That's very paranormal activity with the baby monitors and, like, what they catch at night.
Lexi 03:55
Yes.
Ben 03:56
I don't like--
Lexi 03:57
Yeah. You gotta.
Ben 03:58
--somebody with baby monitors.
Lexi 03:59
Oh, yeah, 'cause you have them everywhere, don't you? Eugh.
Ben 04:01
Welcome to the show. This is Dork Matters, the show that's for and by dorks, about anything that matters to dorks, and I am your Dad Dork host, Ben Rankel, and with me, as always, is...
Lexi 04:16
Lexi, your Animal Crossing Dork.
Ben 04:19
Excellent. Wonderful. How twee. [both laugh] Oh. You might be wondering about the title of this episode. We called it...
Lexi 04:29
Dōrkbutsu no Mori+.
Ben 04:32
Which is a play on the Japanese name of the Animal Crossing franchise, which is Dōbutsu no Mori+.
Lexi 04:38
Yeah.
Ben 04:39
Literally, Animal Forest.
Lexi 04:41
I've been practicing. Do you wanna hear my Animal Crossing song?
Ben 04:44
How could we not?
Lexi 04:45
Okay. Are you ready? I can't do all of it because I get to a certain point, then it just falls apart, but it's the mouth trumpet, y'all. [Lexi mouth trumpets Animal Crossing: New Horizons melody along with theme music] [laughs]
Ben 04:57
Hey. That's good. I was actually expecting a completely made-up Animal Crossing--
Lexi 05:02
No. Like, I don't know. It's, like, my go to. Like, I'll be cooking or, like, doing folding laundry and, all of a sudden, Animal Crossing theme song. [Animal Crossing: New Horizons theme music]
Ben 05:18
I love it. That's great.
Lexi 05:20
[mouth trumpets Animal Crossing: New Horizons melody along with theme music] It's so delightfully catchy and low-key. I love it.
Ben 05:22
Yeah. No, I think that's fantastic.
Lexi 05:23
Do you think that the creators of Animal Crossing created the pandemic to support the release? Like, if they're the one, like, when people are like, "It was lab generated." Like, you know what? If you told me that it was the Animal Crossing people that did it, then I'd be like, "Eh, maybe." [Animal Crossing: New Horizons theme music continues]
Ben 05:35
That is some wild conspiracy theory, and I'm 100% on board for it.
Lexi 05:38
It was just like the best timing for it to come out because I was like a shattered mess, and then I was like, "Oh, but thank god for Animal Crossing. I'll just play this for hours and hours." [Animal Crossing: New Horizons theme music continues]
Ben 05:47
Yeah. No, I think that's reasonable. I think we can surmise that Nintendo of America, through their subsidiary, Nintendo EAD, they got their lab boys in R&D to cook up a little something special for the entire world. [Lexi laughs] Killed just millions upon millions of people for the silver lining of a best-selling game. [Animal Crossing: New Horizons theme music continues] I see nothing wrong with that theory. I think that's our official take here at Dork Matters.
Lexi 06:18
But it's brought joy to countless people.
Ben 06:21
Yeah, at the expense of the happiness and joy of countless others, either through the emotions of losing someone they love, or by dying. [Animal Crossing: New Horizons theme music continues]
Lexi 06:32
You know, you see, of course, all the messed-up-- looking at people creating, like, cemeteries on their islands for like, "I couldn't go to my uncle's funeral and so I just created one on my island." Like, Ah, god damn, that is sad.
Ben 06:48
There's literally no real-life event happening in Animal Crossing or, you know, by relation, Stardew Valley, which is a very similar game, and we're gonna have to--
Lexi 06:55
Oh, yeah.
Ben 06:56
--you know, I guess, deal with some of the similarities there, but there is no real-life event that happens in those games as a substitution for real life that I don't find to be a bit cringe. [Lexi laughs] And that's because I'm old. I'm a geriatric millennial as I call us, but I don't know. Is that, like-- is that an option for people that doesn't feel actually like just to add on exponential sadness to an already disappointing situation? Like, "I couldn't go to that wedding so I recreated it in Animal Crossing and took a screenshot and sent it to my dear family member who was sad I couldn't attend."
Lexi 07:30
Yeah. Like, "I proposed to my significant other through Animal Crossing."
Ben 07:36
"Will you marry me in the shores of Animal Crossing, using fruit for coconuts to spell out the words and, you know, initially, I planned to take them on a getaway retreat and wait until just the right moment after dinner to pop the question in front of a warm fireplace, but instead, I wrote, 'Will U mare me? Will-- U, just the letter U, mare - with, like, M-A-R-E, and then me, you know, 'cause you don't have that much time to spell everything out in coconuts, or that much space. There's not enough real estate for all that. And they said it was every bit as good as a real proposal." [Animal Crossing song plays]
Lexi 08:12
You know what the best part of that is? I can just see one of those, like, lazy Animal Crossing characters walking through the screen, like, sitting down and eating a sandwich.
Ben 08:19
Mucking up your proposal. [both laugh]
Lexi 08:20
Like, "I'm in the middle of something here. But no, no, you eat your sandwich."
Ben 08:24
--or whatever his name is, and he sits down in the middle of your E, just ruins it.
Lexi 08:29
I mean, like, I appreciate that people are trying to make the best of a bad situation, but you know what? Maybe just...
Ben 08:35
Yeah, the escapism here is the best of the bad situation. Just do something else. Don't try to recreate real life. That's not my thing. I wanted to say that if that is your thing, and that's how you're coping, then good. Good for you.
Lexi 08:49
Have at her. Yeah.
Ben 08:51
Please allow us to make some light fun of this situation, but you can quietly say to yourself that we don't understand, and we don't know what we're missing, and that's fine. Yeah, sad as shit. I don't... "I go to Star Pendant in Stardew Valley," or whatever, "on a rainy day, and then the next time my partner and I played co-op, I proposed." It's like, "Eh?"
Lexi 09:11
I mean... [sighs]
Ben 09:13
There's some things that these games are not meant to take the place of.
Lexi 09:17
Yes, I kind of liken it to those people that go to hockey games and propose to their significant other on the big screen.
Ben 09:23
And let's be clear. That's also absolutely cringe.
Lexi 09:25
Horrible. It's awful.
Ben 09:26
Not to mention, you're putting undue pressure on the other person to say, "Yes" in that situation because it is a public humiliation otherwise.
Lexi 09:32
Yes!
Ben 09:33
Yeah.
Lexi 09:33
It's so not fair. Like, what are you gonna do? Be like, "No," and have the entire audience boo you and throw food? No. You say, "Yes," and then on the car ride home, you're like, "This was messed up. I am dumping you." At least in Stardew Valley, you have the privacy of being like, "No."
Ben 09:48
That's true. Yeah, unless it's a public server or whatever, public game. [chuckles] You know, hope that nobody else is wandering through, except for Goatse, as we've established.
Lexi 09:52
Eugh, yeah. You did it on your Discord.
Ben 09:59
Yeah. Twitch Live.
Lexi 10:01
Yeah. If you're doing it on Twitch, then I have problem with you. Like, no. Please don't. Just, that's a private thing.
Ben 10:08
I mean, yeah. There's just-- I guess the world shifted. People commodify whatever they can now, and part of me gets that, the trying to escape the capitalist structures [chuckling] that have held us down for so long now. I get that. You know, so if Twitching your proposal makes you some bank so that you don't have to go work for, you know-- what's the Monopoly guy's name? Daddy Warbucks or whatever? [laughs] No. Wait. That's orphan Annie.
Lexi 10:35
I never thought that he had a name.
Ben 10:38
It's like Rich Uncle Moneypenny or something. Daddy Warbucks is from...
Lexi 10:42
Annie.
Ben 10:43
Annie, yeah. Little Orphan Annie. Either way, both ridiculously rich people who are happy to exploit the working class in order to condense and consolidate more wealth for themself. Fuck them. So all of that to say, if you're streaming your engagement to keep yourself out of that situation, then like, it may not be my jam, but I feel you. Do what you gotta do. Make mad money. Escape that system as best you can. Of course, you're on Twitch so you're just helping Bezos anyhow.
Lexi 11:13
Yeah. I mean, you gotta find a different way to do it, but... I was walking around my neighborhood, and I saw a young person, a teenager, I assume. I don't know. They were younger.
Ben 11:24
No, teenagers. Just go with it. Anyone younger than you, in your mid-30s age, is a teenager. "I was 29!"
Lexi 11:32
A child. They had set up, like, a ring light and a stand and they were doing a TikTok dance on their front lawn.
Ben 11:40
Mm-hmm.
Lexi 11:40
And I've never been so divided. Like, part of me was like, "Good for you, getting outside, like, doing your thing. Sow your oats, young person," and another part of me just was like, "Eugh."
Ben 11:52
Yeah.
Lexi 11:53
Like, such polar opposite feelings at the exact same time, where I was like, "People can see you!"
Ben 11:57
The live-your-life feeling is your millennial and the, [in old person's voice] "Get off my lawn. Nnn, that's not how we do things," is your, like, boomer indoctrination. [Lexi laughs] And they're always at odds.
Lexi 12:07
"Do that your backyard, for god's sake." [laughs]
Ben 12:10
You know, the real response is that you're supposed to walk into frame and then just, [R&B music plays] like, instantly start doing the exact same TikTok dance they are, just joining in.
Lexi 12:19
You might be shocked by this. I'm a terrible, terrible dancer.
Ben 12:23
And then you go viral, and that's what we all want. In the '90s, nobody wanted to go viral, and now we do.
Lexi 12:29
But, like, for dancing? I'd rather have, like, my left hand cut off than be like, "Oh, it's the famous dance girl," because no.
Ben 12:37
Well, guess what?
Lexi 12:38
I am not a dancer. No.
Ben 12:40
If you cut your hand off on TikTok, you're going to go viral. [Lexi laughs] So either/or.
Lexi 12:44
Yeah, that's true, actually.
Ben 12:46
Get that-- do they still call it scrilla? Get the scrilla. [game show wrong answer buzzer]
Lexi 12:51
No. [laughing] Nobody calls it scrilla. We call it scrilla.
Ben 12:55
I think I told one of the Animal Crossing characters to-- you know how you can give them like a little popular phrase?
Lexi 13:00
Yeah.
Ben 13:01
Yeah, I think I told them to say "scrilla", so that's a cool thing I've done recently.
Lexi 13:05
Okay.
Ben 13:06
Let's get back into Animal Crossing. We've totally tangent-ed.
Lexi 13:09
Let's. Yeah, so I'll just tell you about my most favorite villager. So Clay is my favorite.
Ben 13:14
And who is Clay? What does Clay look like?
Lexi 13:16
He's a little hamster that is very ornate.
Ben 13:18
Okay. He's--
Lexi 13:19
I don't know. He's got lots of patterns on him, and he is lazy as shit, and he insists on calling me Professor Pie but, over the year, he has shortened it to Prof. Pie, and I love it. And then, I told them that their saying should be "pop pop" 'cause we were watching Community at the time, and I was like, "Yeah. Let's do that," and so I love it. His entire conversation with me is like, "Hey, Prof. Pie. Pop pop. What's happening?" I'm like, "God, this is great. Just love it." And then he eats, like, soup.
Ben 13:50
Okay, so when did this come out? When did Animal Crossing: New Horizons join us here? It was 2020. I'm gonna say April?
Lexi 13:57
Yeah, that sounds right.
Ben 13:58
Um, roughly around there. So the world had just realized that this pandemic that was, you know, more or less kind of became a reality, at least for the world at large, in, I don't know, I'd say February, and then people thought it would be done in a month or two, was not. It was not going anywhere. [laughs]
Lexi 14:17
No.
Ben 14:17
We were all... And, at that point, governments were still taking it seriously, so we were-- [Lexi laughs] everyone was either at home working from home or just off work. Nobody was going anywhere. The skies actually cleared up, pollution drifted away, animals returned.
Lexi 14:32
Dolphins returned. Yeah.
Ben 14:33
Yeah, and we were all taking it very seriously, and then, you know, Animal Crossing came out. People were going mad with having to talk to everybody else in their house, exclusively, and so I think it would be correct to call Animal Crossing popping up, New Horizons, at this point, a zeitgeist.
Lexi 14:51
Oh yeah.
Ben 14:53
And then, from what I've read, a lot of people stopped playing, come, like, July/August, so I guess my question is what kept you playing, or did you stop and come back to it?
Lexi 15:02
Yeah, I stopped and came back to it. I was really good for, like, maybe five months I played it and then, you know, the world started opening up a little bit again, and other games came out, so...
Ben 15:15
Oh, my god. Yeah. Yeah.
Lexi 15:16
Plus, like, it is so low-key that I was like, "I need a little bit of a challenge, and--"
Ben 15:21
Yeah.
Lexi 15:22
So yeah, when other games came out, I started playing those ones because I didn't have as much time to play video games because I was, you know, back at work and...
Ben 15:31
It is so low-key. You're right. It is so low-key that, if I am sitting in just the right position with, like, my neck folded over on my chest, and I'm just in, like, the perfect slouch, I can fall asleep, plenty.
Lexi 15:33
Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like a lullaby soundtrack.
Ben 15:44
Yeah. [mouth trumpets Animal Crossing: New Horizons theme melody] Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
Lexi 15:49
Hey! Very good. I came back to it recently because they did come out with all those really awesome, you know, new features, like you can get Brewster and all those other things. Harv's Island, as we have talked about, really kind of popped up with a little farmers' market-type feel. Plus, things are shit right now and, you know...
Ben 16:11
We're fifth wave. We're Omicron. We have, I think, at this point, either tripled or quadrupled up on previous peak numbers of infections, at least where we are, and our government actually is doing absolutely nothing about it and has more or less said, "Fuck all y'all."
Lexi 16:30
Yeah.
Ben 16:30
So yeah.
Lexi 16:31
We're on our own.
Ben 16:32
I could see how Animal Crossing would make a nice refuge from that.
Lexi 16:35
Yeah, even if it's for, like, 15 minutes, just like a little bit of normalcy.
Ben 16:41
Yeah, that's what brought me back was my toddler wanting something-- we needed something for him to do that was super low-key when he'd wake up from naps because he would be just like, on the edge of a breakdown every day, and I thought, "You know what's super low-key? Animal Crossing," and he passed being two years old, which was kind of our cut-off for like, "You can watch a bit out of the screen, at this point," so we started sitting down after he'd wake up, and I'd say, "You wanna watch some Animal Crossing?" and he loved it, so he'd watched the little animals. We'd do a couple of dumb things. We'd start gyroid hunting. [Animal Crossing music plays] We'd play, literally, 10 to 15 minutes, which was the screentime limit for him at any, like, you know, one chunk, and that's what got us back in. We started hunting gyroids... [Animal Crossing music continues] ..which he just loves now. So we play like 10, 15 minutes, and it's actually been beautiful in those little chunks. I think, if I play it more than that, I start to get bored again.
Lexi 17:37
Yeah. That's fair. But it's kind of like what counsellor Mike was talking about, like, using video games to talk about regulation and, you know, re-entering back on different terms, you know?
Ben 17:49
Yeah, yeah.
Lexi 17:50
I like that. Yeah. Sometimes if, like, I haven't been sleeping well, but in the morning when I'm having coffee, before I, like, get to workin', I'll sit with Animal Crossing for, like, 15 minutes. Yeah, 10, 15 minutes, and when the coffee's done, I put it away and go about my day, and it's kind of a gentle start to the day to see my villagers 'cause they're so cute.
Ben 18:11
Nice.
Lexi 18:11
They're always, like, happy to see you and, like, the old Animal Crossing where your villagers were kind of assholes and they'd be like, "Well, look who decided to show up!" and you're like, "Man, I was busy."
Ben 18:22
Oh, I mean, yeah. It was a huge guilt trip when you'd pop in, like, "Oh, I thought you were never coming back," and your entire town is overrun with weeds and everyone's complaining and miserable. [Lexi laughs]
Lexi 18:33
Oh, god.
Ben 18:33
And most of them have moved away, as well, 'cause the longer you're gone, the more of them move away so you have just this ghost town left over.
Lexi 18:39
Or you have atrocities. I started playing, like, on the DS. I was like, "Well, I haven't played Animal Crossing on here in forever, like the-- what do you call it? Like, the New Leaf.
Ben 18:49
So I didn't start until City, which was 2008, so I've only been-- this is only my third Animal Crossing.
Lexi 18:54
This is my second Animal Crossing, but only... I've done New Horizons and New Leaf. That's it. But when I came back to the DS, I had, like, the scary, creepy villagers, the ones that I don't like. Like, all my good ones had left, and then I was stuck with, like, the weird clown sheep, like, Pietro or something. Eugh!
Ben 19:18
I hate Pietro. I hate him so much. He's in the town right now, and there's nothing I can do to get rid of him. He just won't leave.
Lexi 19:24
Oh!
Ben 19:25
I keep doing that thing where you beg whoever's at the campground to move in.
Lexi 19:29
[laughs] Yes.
Ben 19:30
And they're like, "Sure, I... Oh, there's no space. Oh, well, maybe I can make a deal with..." and then it's like an eternity waiting for who they're gonna try to talk into leaving, and it's never Pietro. He's horrifying. I hate looking at him.
Lexi 19:41
He is.
Ben 19:42
He looks like a serial killer.
Lexi 19:43
He does look like a serial killer. Like, he's like the Gacy of Animal Crossing characters. Like, everything about him is creepy as shit. Hate him.
Ben 19:51
Yeah.
Lexi 19:52
There's a lot of them I don't like.
Ben 19:53
How much effort do you put into managing who's in your town, as far as animals?
Lexi 19:59
Eh.
Ben 19:59
Do you just sort of let fortune take its--
Lexi 20:02
Yep.
Ben 20:03
its roll of the dice? Okay, that's me too. I definitely know people that are like, "I'm gonna get all of these animals, or all of these animals, or only these ones, or..." There's like lists of, like, good ones online. Worse, there's lists of sexy ones online.
Lexi 20:15
Oh, that's upsetting.
Ben 20:18
Yeah, don't... I wouldn't look for Animal Crossing on Reddit or you're going to run into the Rule 34, porn.
Lexi 20:23
[laughs] I wanna get the photos of some of the characters I don't much care for, just so, like, if they leave. Like, I'm always like, "No, stay," when they're talking about leaving.
Ben 20:33
Okay, so you want a photo. That's what you're saying.
Lexi 20:35
Yes, I would like the photos.
Ben 20:36
As far as I can tell, there's no, like, track metric for those photos, so I don't give a shit.
Lexi 20:41
I just want them for me. But then, at the same time, too, it's like, is that not a serial killer thing to do? Like, [in creepy voice] "I have photos of everyone who's ever lived on my island."
Ben 20:49
[in creepy voice] "Doesn't matter how long they lived here." [laughs]
Lexi 20:51
[in creepy voice] "They're in my basement."
Ben 20:52
"Where did Pietro go? No one knows. Oh, he moved to another island, did he?"
Lexi 20:55
Sure.
Ben 20:56
"Which one?" "Basementia." [Lexi laughs]
Lexi 21:00
"Bottom of the Well". [Ben laughs] Like, I just... There's a couple of them. I don't care for really any of the horse variety. Those? Meh. I find them boring and weird.
Ben 21:14
I don't like the way they look. I'm with you on that.
Lexi 21:15
Yeah, they're weird. I love the birds. All the birds are beautiful.
Ben 21:20
Like, are we talking, like, the eagle ones--
Lexi 21:21
No.
Ben 21:21
--or, like, the little birds like Jay?
Lexi 21:23
Yeah, like, I like the flamingos and the peacocks, the pretty birds. The big, dumb eagles can piss off.
Ben 21:31
Pretty bird.
Lexi 21:32
The aardvarks are delightful.
Ben 21:34
Okay, so I've never seen an aardvark and did not know they were there. I just learned that now. This is new information for me.
Lexi 21:40
I have an aardvark, Annabelle.
Ben 21:42
I would fill my time with aardvarks. Fuck everyone else.
Lexi 21:44
They're so cute.
Ben 21:45
I don't like the big bears.
Lexi 21:46
No, the bears are creepy.
Ben 21:47
I always get big bears and I hate big bears. That is super creepy. I want the short bears that aren't taller than me.
Lexi 21:52
Yeah, I like the little hamsters 'cause they look like tiny little bears, but not the imposing--
Ben 21:57
See, and now the hamsters are too small for me. I don't like them, either.
Lexi 22:00
But they're so cute.
Ben 22:02
I don't like the mice.
Lexi 22:03
Oh, yeah, I don't like them.
Ben 22:03
I like the dragon/gators. Those are fine.
Lexi 22:08
Eh.
Ben 22:08
Is there anyone else I actually like? Not really. I guess I like the elephant, sort of. Or the elephant model. That's fine. But yeah, I don't try to manage who's in town. I have never tried to get all the photos. I really just don't care. I think talking to the villagers is incidental to what I play Animal Crossing for.
Lexi 22:12
Eh, no. It depends on my day. Most days, I ignore them.
Ben 22:27
Building the biggest house possible, this is what I play for, and then I need to know what you play for. I play to get the biggest house possible and pay off all my mortgages. That's primary goal, and then fill up the museum.
Lexi 22:37
Yep. Yeah, ditto, 100%.
Ben 22:40
Which, until you told me that I could start a weird, like, Market Collective at Harv's Island, I had no idea how I was ever going to get all the art for the museum.
Lexi 22:51
Yeah, I was actually texting Spencer about how upset I was about Red, and I was like, "I don't know what I'm doing, and, like, I'm so upset about it," and he didn't really know how to handle it. It's like... [Ben laughs] "Like, yeah dude. Just look online, I guess?" and I was like, "No, you don't understand. He's never here." [laughs] But then, when I saw that, yeah, you could bring them to Harv's Island, I was like, "Finally," because yeah, my goal is to fill up the museum, get the house as big as possible, pay it off pretty. I also like to collect all the different DIYs and recipes. But then that's about it.
Ben 23:04
Yeah. That's a lot of extra stuff for me.
Lexi 23:29
Yeah.
Ben 23:30
I'm okay with collecting them all, but it's not my goal right now. Right now, my primary goal, because it's based on what my two-and-a-half year old son wants to do, is collecting gyroids. That's what we do.
Lexi 23:39
Mm-hmm.
Ben 23:40
So we go with Kapp'n, we sail the seas, we look for gyroids, we bury them until they finish fixing themselves, and then we hunt around, and we have a basement full of dead-eyed, shaky little--
Lexi 23:51
Do you like Kapp'n?
Ben 23:52
Do I like Kapp'n? [Kapp'n sings incomprehensible words in cute voice]
Lexi 23:56
Do you let him sing?
Ben 23:57
Oh no. I don't let him sing. [record scratches to halt]
Lexi 23:59
Oh, my god.
Ben 24:00
But, I love Kapp'n. [Kapp'n sings song] I love the model. I love the Japanese folklore around-- what are they called? Kappas, or whatever.
Lexi 24:08
What is the folklore?
Ben 24:09
They're just sort of like a turtle/demon thing that have like this, like, scoop on their head that's filled with water that - I'm totally not remembering correctly - but, if stuff happens to that water, like, they get hurt or they die or something... They're just weird. They're just super weird and I love 'em, but I love Kapp'n. [Kapp'n continues singing song] I loved his whole New Leaf thing where you get to meet his family and stuff and, like, go to his house and see all that. But yeah. No, his singing is largely miss-able for me, which was another thing I didn't know I could do until recently, which was just mash the B button to not listen to five minutes of him droning on. [Kapp'n continues singing song]
Lexi 24:43
Oh, I love it.
Ben 24:45
But I love that song. That's probably my favorite song in all of Animal Crossing.
Lexi 24:53
I love his pissy remarks like, "Okay, I guess we're really in a hurry today."
Ben 24:58
"Oh, you're too busy to hear me sing even though I'm driving you all over the world."
Lexi 25:02
Yeah. "You're welcome, by the way." Yeah, I love... That's my favorite part of it. I gotta say, as my non-playable character, who's my favorite? I love Brewster. I think that he is--
Ben 25:12
Oh, Brewster's great.
Lexi 25:13
Like, I would like to go there to have a little cup of coffee.
Ben 25:16
Yeah. Would you get pigeon milk in it?
Lexi 25:17
I love that you can pick the response, "Ew, no." [laughs]
Ben 25:21
And I won't pick that 'cause I'm not gonna insult my boy Brewster, so--
Lexi 25:24
No!
Ben 25:25
He's squeezin' that shit out his teats, and I'ma drink it.
Lexi 25:27
[laughs] I was thinking the same thing. I was like, "I don't wanna know where it comes from, but yes. Thank you. I will take your pigeon milk."
Ben 25:33
There's only one place it can come from. He's the only pigeon in the entirety of Animal fucking Crossing.
Lexi 25:39
Maybe he has it brought in?
Ben 25:41
I've never met another pigeon. All I'm saying is let's just hope it's breast milk.
Lexi 25:45
I don't... Eh.
Ben 25:45
There's other things that could be from Brewster-- [Lexi gags]
Lexi 25:49
Oh, Brews-- But, I do whatever Brewster tells me to. He's like, "Drink the coffee, hot." I'm like, "Drink the coffee, hot." Like, one time I let it cool down and I felt bad.
Ben 25:56
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forgive me, but there's something a little bit sexy about Brewster.
Lexi 26:00
There is!
Ben 26:01
Run with me on... There is.
Lexi 26:02
Oh!
Ben 26:02
[Lexi laughs] There's something a bit sexy about Brewster and his, like sort of, commanding but calm demeanor. He tells you you need to drink this at whatever, 230 degrees exactly, you drink it at 230 degrees exactly.
Lexi 26:14
Yep. And, like, that whole coffee shop is meticulous, is clean, everything is, like, in its place, properly. That is a pigeon in control, and I find that a little attractive.
Ben 26:25
But there's also a little bit something, like, you know there's something a little bit quirky about him too. Like, he's got a wild side. It's hidden just beyond the doors to his storeroom where you see those couple of gyroids ticking away in the back, there.
Lexi 26:36
Yes, you do.
Ben 26:37
Yeah.
Lexi 26:38
What else is back there, huh?
Ben 26:40
Yeah. Yeah.
Lexi 26:40
Ooh.
Ben 26:40
And you just know,` if you got into it with him, he's gonna tell you what to do and it's gonna be hot. [laughs] He tells you to drink his milk, and you do it. Everyone does it. [both laugh]
Lexi 26:53
I would just... I don't want... It comes back to my whole like, you know, intense desire to be liked by everybody that even the fake characters on the video game, the pigeon, I don't wanna offend him, so I take his pigeon milk.
Ben 27:04
See? There are characters, I can offend them. Other characters, you don't care about or you... Like, 'cause Brewster, he commands my respect. Blathers can fuck off. Blathers can shut up.
Lexi 27:14
[laughing] You don't like Blathers?!
Ben 27:16
I like Blathers. That doesn't mean I respect Blathers. [laughs] I don't wanna listen to him drone on.
Lexi 27:20
Why don't you--
Ben 27:20
His irrational hate for insects pisses me off.
Lexi 27:23
Eh.
Ben 27:25
Also, I don't like how much he talks. He talks too much. I don't like... I, personally, get angry every time I have to hit B to skip through another screen of dialogue.
Lexi 27:33
Mm-hmm. That's fair.
Ben 27:35
Yeah, it's too much. And he won't take fossils once he's collected them all. Just, like, pay me for them and throw them in the back or something. Like--
Lexi 27:43
Yeah.
Ben 27:43
It's a huge hassle. Also, I just shouldn't find fossils anymore once I get 'em all. Where, if I do, I should know what they are already. I shouldn't have to have them identified. How many T-Rex skulls do I have to fucking find before I know what a T-Rex skull is?
Lexi 27:55
Yeah, I agree. Okay, so maybe this is a good area to get into. What pisses you off about Animal Crossing?
Ben 28:01
Well, that.
Lexi 28:02
Other than Blathers and that.
Ben 28:03
Um...
Lexi 28:04
There's nothing else?
Ben 28:05
There's gotta be. I need to think about this. Currently, it's a little bit imprecise to place things around New Horizons.
Lexi 28:12
Yes.
Ben 28:13
That is a new issue for this game. It wasn't in the previous games. You couldn't decorate outside your house, so the number of times I've been trying to collect something, and just accidentally taken a piece of what I consider to be permanent decor, like lamp posts, down. It's become a little bit of a joke with my son because every time I grab one, he'll be like, "Dad, grab a lamp post!" I'm like, "Ah, not again." He's like, "Hahaha," and he loses his shit laughing at it. [Lexi chuckles] It's like, "No! The lamp posts stay there." Like, there's a collectible thing right beside it. "Game, what do you think I want? The decor or the fruit on the ground next to it?" And so, it's a little imprecise. That pisses me off.
Lexi 28:50
Yeah.
Ben 28:50
How about your side?
Lexi 28:51
Yeah, I agree with that. Like, I do wish it was a little bit more like The Sims in its decorating modes, where you have the option of, like, you know, I want some things, I can lock them in place, and so, then I don't have to keep mucking around with it. Or I wish I could be more precise, but what drives me absolutely insane is when you're constructing, and you can only do one at a time instead of, like, a mass. Like, I would like-- "I have enough to make, like, 15 whatevers. Please let me do that instead of like, 'Okay, now I'm going to go back in. Okay, now I'm going to go back in.'" Like, Jesus.
Ben 29:24
Don't send me shit the next day. I understand they're trying to chill things out so that you're not just racing towards the end, but--
Lexi 29:31
Sure.
Ben 29:32
--yeah, you're right. It frustrates me. Like, Harv's Island? I have enough money. I was saving up to pay off my final mortgage to the greedy capitalist that is Tom Nook who makes me do all the work and gets all the credit and money. [Lexi laughs] But, when you told me about Harv's Island, I was like, "Fuck you, Tom." I just was like, "I'm gonna go buy everything," and then I found out I can only do one a day.
Lexi 29:52
One a day!
Ben 29:53
And they don't show up until the next day either, which is just frustrating.
Lexi 29:56
Well, then a lot of their stock doesn't restock until it's the following Monday or whatever so, if you buy art from Red, and then you wind up knowing that he has two duds, even if it's, like, Tuesday--
Ben 30:08
Eggs. It happened to me yesterday.
Lexi 30:09
Yeah, like, you gotta wait, like, "TS for you. See you next Monday." Like, uch.
Ben 30:13
Yeah, you have to either buy one or wait until it resets on Monday the following week. It's bullshit.
Lexi 30:18
And you can't sell it.
Ben 30:19
I guess that's the price you pay for seeing it more than once in a month.
Lexi 30:22
I guess, but like...
Ben 30:24
You can't sell it, you just dump it?
Lexi 30:26
You're not...
Ben 30:27
You didn't sell it, you just don't get money for it, right? You just dump it to Timmy and Tommy.
Lexi 30:30
Timmy and Tommy won't take it.
Ben 30:31
Where does it go then, 'cause you don't have a garbage bin? Where do you put it?
Lexi 30:34
There's a garbage bin. You can throw shit out.
Ben 30:37
What the fuck?
Lexi 30:39
Yeah, you buy it.
Ben 30:40
I don't think I realized that.
Lexi 30:43
'Cause, like, when I've gotten dud art, I try to give it away and people were like, "Oh, I couldn't possibly." I'm like, "No. It's not real. Please take it," and then I try to sell it and the twins are like, "Bleugh! Has Blathers seen this?" "Yes. He's the one who had a very pearl-clutching moment and couldn't take the art," and so I just wind up throwing it in the garbage can.
Ben 31:03
Maybe Blathers should just take it and dispose of it. Like, if you see a forfeit-- --a forfeiture of, like, real.. Like, that's fraud. You should take that and get rid of it.
Lexi 31:07
Yeah. Yep.
Ben 31:13
That's fucked up.
Lexi 31:14
I love it.
Ben 31:14
It reminded me of something else that made me angry, which I now can't remember. So good point. Oh, it's K.K., that I can only get a song from K.K. if I'm willing to play after 6pm on Saturday fucking night.
Lexi 31:28
Oh.
Ben 31:29
He won't give you songs otherwise. You can't request a new song from K.K. unless it's after 6pm. If you try to talk to him before 6pm, he'll be like, "I'm not taking requests right now, but if you wanna hear me jam, you can just sit there." Sure, I'll just sit there and do fucking nothing.
Lexi 31:44
I find him disturbing because the rest of the villagers are all wearing clothes. He's not. He's the only person on my island not wearing clothes, so I just feel like this hippie shows up once a week on my island, naked, [K.K. plays guitar] makes everybody sit and listen to him play guitar, and then buggers off on Sunday morning.
Ben 31:59
[K.K. sings incomprehensible words in cute voice, with guitar] Yeah, I don't care for K.K., and I don't think he's as cool as the game wants him to be.
Lexi 32:04
I wish that it was actual music, not like the weird bleeble-blobble cartoon voice.
Ben 32:09
So, you know the bleeble-blobbles are actually just words sped up?
Lexi 32:12
Yes. But I just-- I'd rather just have, like, it instrumental instead of them singing like sh-- I don't like singing at the best of times.
Ben 32:19
I bet you we could find a track online that is K.K.'s song slowed down, and I wonder what they say. [K.K. continues singing song]
Lexi 32:25
Oh, yeah. That's gotta be there. Well, I've seen that on, like--
Ben 32:29
I'm so curious now.
Lexi 32:29
--on like TikTok and the Instagram reels of people doing things with, like, slowed-down Animal Crossing/Stardew Valley Music in the background. [K.K. continues singing song] They're pretty good, some of them.
Ben 32:52
They must sound like serial killers. [sings slowed-down pitch]
Lexi 32:54
No, it sounds great. It's like jazzy.
Ben 32:57
What? That sounds so good.
Lexi 32:58
It's like, after a while you're like, "Is this the Animal Crossing soundtrack?" And then it is. Or, like even, like, ConcernedApe has, like, his record, right? And so, all these people have made so many different cuts of his song, so...
Ben 33:12
No, Eric Barone's music in Stardew is just--
Lexi 33:14
Amazing.
Ben 33:14
Like, I have every single album, and it is on regular rotation.
Lexi 33:17
Can we digress for a second here?
Ben 33:19
Always.
Lexi 33:20
How excited are you for his new game?
Ben 33:22
Oh, Haunted Chocolatier?
Lexi 33:23
Yes.
Ben 33:23
Like, a million times excited. The problem is that I'm worried he's told us about it too soon and I'm gonna have to wait years before I can touch it.
Lexi 33:29
This is the problem with, like, there's three games that I'm waiting on right now, and it was too soon.
Ben 33:35
I can only think of Haunted Chocolatier. I can't think of anything else I'm waiting on.
Lexi 33:38
Haunted Chocolatier. Mineko's Night Market. Really excited for that. [gasps] Oh, my god.
Ben 33:42
Link me a trailer. If I don't get a vibe off the trailer, I ain't playing it.
Lexi 33:46
It's so freakin' cute.
Ben 33:48
Since we're digressing, I'm gonna digress our digression while you find me a link to this game, and mention-- I told you that I was moving my studio from our, sort of, garage studio space. I'm moving inside the house into what used to be our guest bedroom and I forgot to tell you, the whole thing is actually being loosely-ish based on Brewster's coffee shop.
Lexi 34:11
[gasps] That's so awesome!
Ben 34:13
I actually went to the point of finding, like, a scalloped green wallpaper that I then had to send back 'cause it was garbage when I got it, but... So I went with a green wallpaper anyhow.
Lexi 34:21
Oh, my god.
Ben 34:22
Yeah, it's it's loosely based on, sort of, the wooden warmth feel. I got a new lamp, you know, to replace the existing one that's reminiscent of the bar lights and stuff, and yeah, I'm just leaning into the Brewster's feel for my new in-the-house studio.
Lexi 34:38
That's awesome. I'm gonna need pictures of that.
Ben 34:40
I can't wait to be in that space. Yeah. So it's not gonna be exact, but it was wildly inspired by it. If that scalloped paper would have worked out, it would have been great, but...
Lexi 34:49
I'm sure, like, someone out there has some amazing, exactly what you're looking for-type paper, but whatever. That's great.
Ben 34:57
What's your third game, before we go to our important and necessary break? Where are we at?
Lexi 35:03
We had Mineko's Night Market. We had Haunted Chocolatier, and then the Harry Potter Hogwarts Legacy game. I was really excited-- actually, four! That one, and then the Lego Skywalker Saga.
Ben 35:19
See? I can't fuck with the LEGO Star Wars stuff. It's just...
Lexi 35:21
Really?
Ben 35:22
I appreciate it. It's fine. It deserves to exist. It's just not for me.
Lexi 35:26
I like the smashing components. Smash.
Ben 35:28
And Harry Potter's tough for me, too, mostly because, you know, what's-her-face is a TERF, but...
Lexi 35:35
Oh, we don't talk about her, but we were talking about the Hogwarts game.
Ben 35:38
She who shall not be named.
Lexi 35:39
She who shall not be named.
Ben 35:40
Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I'm still gonna read the books to my son and watch the movies with him and stuff. I love that stuff, even though I didn't come to it until I was much older. We'll do that in a Harry Potter episode, but--
Lexi 35:51
Yeah.
Ben 35:51
That's great. Those are some good-sounding games. I think I used to have games that I was looking forward to and then, you know, second child happened. The first child happened, then second child happened, and now just getting this podcast done regularly is basically all I try to do, and all I can do.
Lexi 36:07
That's fair.
Ben 36:08
Let's go to a break. Let's see [along with "Who's That Pokémon?" theme music] who's that Pokémon? [laughs] I've got one for you. Are you excited?
Lexi 36:16
Oh, hoo! Yes, I am.
Ben 36:19
This is a-- I'm gonna give you the shape descriptions. There is an oval.
Lexi 36:23
Okay. Okay.
Ben 36:23
And that oval is connected to two sort of cylinders on the bottom, and then there's two more cylinders off the sides of the oval, and then on top of that oval is more of a circle with some half circles on top, and the front of the circle that is at the top of everything, sort of, comes to a point in the front.
Lexi 36:24
Oh, is it Weevil? The little--
Ben 36:37
You mean the gangster character from Veronica Mars who really kind of got done dirty by the series and the movie?
Lexi 36:55
No, like, the little caterpillar with the little spike on its head.
Ben 37:00
Or do you mean Mr. Resetti?
Lexi 37:01
Yes.
Ben 37:02
From Animal Crossing.
Lexi 37:04
I thought we were talking about actual Pokémon so now I don't know. [laughs]
Ben 37:09
I don't even know if there's a Pokémon named Weevil. Is there a Pokémon named Weevil? [chuckles]
Lexi 37:13
There's gotta be a Pokémon named Weevil.
Ben 37:14
[laughs] To Google. There's only one way to find out. "Pokémon named Weevil". [old-school computer bleeping] [scratching record, DJ-style] There's Weavile.
Lexi 37:27
No that's not it. I'm thinking of, like, a little Pokémon that becomes, like, the angry bee.
Ben 37:34
Beedrill.
Lexi 37:36
The one before. Like, its previous evol-- like, before it evolves.
Ben 37:39
I think it's a moth or something before it becomes Beedrill. Let's find out. Ask the Wikipedia. [old-school computer bleeping] [scratching record, DJ-style] "Beedrill Pokémon". It evolves from Kakuna which is the yellow cocoon. It looks like it has, sort of, a bow tie. All right, do you have any other guesses on this character before I reveal who that Pokémon is?
Lexi 38:03
Oh. Was it an Animal Crossing character?
Ben 38:06
I'll give you one more hint. There's sort of a cylindrical, organic sort of cylindrical balloon-like shape off the back of the main bulky oval.
Lexi 38:15
I have no idea.
Ben 38:16
He's the greediest motherfucker you ever done seen.
Lexi 38:20
[gasps] Is it Tom Nook?
Ben 38:22
[along with "Who's That Pokémon?" theme music] It's Tom Nook. Ah!
Lexi 38:24
Ah!
Ben 38:26
I am showing Lexie my amiibos, of which I should not have, but I have a wild collection of them.
Lexi 38:33
Whatever.
Ben 38:34
Love those little figures.
Lexi 38:35
Lean into it.
Ben 38:36
You know what sucks? I don't think there's a Brewster amiibo. That's too bad.
Lexi 38:39
Oh, he deserves one.
Ben 38:41
He does deserve one.
Lexi 38:42
He's delightful. Okay, so that was not my best "Who's That Pokémon" because I was still thinking we're talking Pokémon.
Ben 38:50
It doesn't matter. I think, when we fail, that's when it's the best. I think "Who's That Pokémon" can be anything, from a person to another character, to an actual Pokémon.
Lexi 38:59
Okay. Next time, I think I've got a good one. [whispers] You'll never guess.
Ben 39:06
That reminds me, now that we're back, there's something else I hate which is the hours of the stores in Pokémon-- [laughs] in Animal Crossing. [Lexi laughs] I don't like there being time limits set on when I can play. I guess time-locked anything--
Lexi 39:19
Yeah.
Ben 39:20
--really, kind of, makes me grumpy.
Lexi 39:22
Yeah. I appreciate what they're going for, but like, just let me play because I always feel bad for the folks that maybe work, like, crazy hours, and so you're kind of trapped in, "I can only access the stores for an hour or it's always closed, or whatever." I do wish you could change the hours a little on the easy side, but then I know it's counter to what they're going for.
Ben 39:47
No, you can shift an hour either way and that's pretty much it.
Lexi 39:50
Eh, it's not worth it 'cause then I read about all these people that try to do the time traveling and then it corrupts their entire game.
Ben 39:55
I don't time travel. Do you time travel?
Lexi 39:57
I can't be bothered--
Ben 39:58
It just feel morally dubious to me. I feel like there's an ethics to gaming, and time traveling wrecks that for me, that that breaks my code of gaming conduct.
Lexi 40:10
Yeah, I just feel like, "Fun is fun, guys. I mean, just go to sleep. Just, that's your own time. That's how we time travel in the real world. You go to sleep." I forgot to tell you I do have one villager that, when he showed up on my island, it terrified me. I was scared to play for a long time, and it was one of the lion creatures.
Ben 40:31
Which one?
Lexi 40:32
[shudders] Mott.
Ben 40:33
I've never Mott. I'm going to go to Wikipedia to figure out who Mott is. [old-school computer bleeping] [scratching record, DJ-style]
Lexi 40:42
If you took Ronald McDonald and married him with a lion, you would have Mott,
Ben 40:46
Oh, he doesn't seem so bad here. Just looks like a-- he's just a ginger.
Lexi 40:51
His head is very big in comparison to the rest of his body.
Ben 40:56
Aren't all the lions' heads like that?
Lexi 40:58
Yeah, they're all creepy.
Ben 41:00
Oh, I mean, I'm not gonna argue with that.
Lexi 41:03
The orangutan ones, like, all the monkey, ape ones scare the hell out of me. Like, bleugh, no. That's not something you want walking around your island.
Ben 41:12
No.
Lexi 41:13
Especially at night. They jump out at you.
Ben 41:15
[chuckles] I've never had one jump out at me.
Lexi 41:17
Well, walk up to you at an alarming rate in the evening time. They're just-- they're scary lookin'.
Ben 41:22
All right, so we're not fans for Mott on Dork Matters.
Lexi 41:26
No, we don't like Mott.
Ben 41:27
We don't fuck with Mott.
Lexi 41:28
"Keep walking." But I need his picture before he--
Ben 41:31
Yeah. Okay. Now, who's creepy? Jumping out from behind bushes and trees trying to snap a picture.
Lexi 41:38
[laughs] "Ah, gimme your picture!" Who do you like? Which are your favorite villagers?
Ben 41:43
Well, see, this is the thing, and this is where we get into it is that I don't really care for any of the villagers. I don't give a shit about them. They can all come and go. Occasionally, I'll find one that I, like, don't particularly dislike, but I do not go out of my way to talk to any of them, and I generally find it to be an inconvenience when I hear that ding sound and one of them runs towards me.
Lexi 42:05
Mm-hmm.
Ben 42:05
Or if I'm in my house trying to arrange stuff and one of those assholes just shows up uninvited.
Lexi 42:09
Yes. I run to the other room and I wait until they leave.
Ben 42:12
[laughs] Just like real life.
Lexi 42:15
Just like real life, except I'm not crouching down behind the door. "I know you're in there!" Like--
Ben 42:20
"Leave me alone." Yeah, so my favorite people are always the actual, like, game people. What? That doesn't make sense.
Lexi 42:29
The villagers.
Ben 42:29
So, like, villagers who are like standards, the mainstays. Which ones do I like? I like Kapp'n. Kapp'n's great.
Lexi 42:37
Mm-hmm.
Ben 42:37
I like-- what's that guy's name? Pascal who pops up to take your-- not your oysters. He takes something else.
Lexi 42:43
[laughs] He takes.. Aren't they your oysters?
Ben 42:49
Maybe they are. I can't remember.
Lexi 42:51
Oh, god. Takes one of your shellfish. You're allergic. You wouldn't know. Scallops?
Ben 42:57
Yeah, and Louie knows that now, too.
Lexi 42:58
Oh, he knows that you're allergic?
Ben 43:00
Louie has learned that I'm allergic to it, based on us doing deep-sea diving in Animal Crossing.
Lexi 43:04
You're like, "Daddy's allergic to that."
Ben 43:06
We'll grab a crab and he's like, "Dad, eat it," and I'm like, "I can't, buddy. I'm allergic." He's like, "No, not you. Little Dad."
Lexi 43:12
Who is Little Dad?
Ben 43:14
The little character that runs around, that's me in the game.
Lexi 43:16
Oh, my god. He's named your villager Little Dad? I'm not sure if that's creepy or adorable.
Ben 43:20
It was, literally-- and now it became Little Louie because he decided he wants it to be him instead.
Lexi 43:26
Yeah, that's fair.
Ben 43:26
And he's like, "Eat that." I was like, "I can't. I'm allergic." He's like, "You're allergic, Dad not Little Louie."
Lexi 43:32
Okay. Well, at least he can distinguish between real and game. That's awesome.
Ben 43:36
Yeah. I mean, can kids not do that at his age? [chuckles]
Lexi 43:39
I mean, I don't know. I do not have a toddler so, to me, that sounds amazing and that Louie's super smart. Pascal. I do think Pascal is funny. I like that he always is like, "I'm gonna hit you with a fact that's gonna blow your mind, dude." Like, he reminds me of, like, Cheech and Chong, and I like it.
Ben 43:56
Yeah, I think that's intentional. I think I like the dodos. [Lexi laughs] They are new to New Horizons, but I think they're fun.
Lexi 44:04
I like a dodo.
Ben 44:05
Yeah, all the dialogue's kinda dumb. I like Isabelle. She's all right. She doesn't do anything grating or terrible. Yeah, I guess the only one I really like is Kapp'n, and I skip his songs.
Lexi 44:16
Well, you also like that super sexy coffee supplier, Brewster.
Ben 44:20
Oh, yeah, coffee... I was so excited when I found out he was being added to the game. I was like, "He was missing." I know his, like, little thing is boring as hell, and kind of stupid, but, like, I miss it.
Lexi 44:29
Well, that's just coffee.
Ben 44:31
I make sure we go in for a pretend coffee every single day.
Lexi 44:33
Oh, yeah. Sometimes I go twice. Sometimes, I like to walk... Okay, this is just a little glimpse into me. On Sunday mornings, whilst I'm waiting for my daily turn-- or, I guess, my weekly turnip fix, I like to go to Brewster's.
Ben 44:47
Okay, we're off on a tangent. You even fuck around with turnips?
Lexi 44:50
Um, sometimes I try to get into it, and then I lose patience and track, and then I'm like, "Ah, I've got these rotting turnips."
Ben 44:57
I don't have the-- yeah, I don't have the focus to buy turnips and then, like, check on them every single fucking day to see if they've gone up or not. It's not worth it.
Lexi 45:06
No, 'cause every time I do it, they're always going down, and then I'm like, "This is the week I actually tried. This is what I get for trying."
Ben 45:12
And that's a good life lesson for everybody, all the time. "This is what you get for trying."
Lexi 45:16
"Don't try. "
Ben 45:16
Yeah.
Lexi 45:17
Yeah.
Ben 45:17
"Think of the consequences."
Lexi 45:19
It's part of the routine. So, on Sundays, I would go walk around looking for turnips--
Ben 45:25
Mm-hmm.
Lexi 45:25
--but then, I'd start by stopping off at Brewster's, gettin' a coffee, and I really like to dress up my character, like she's out on the town on a chilly Sunday morning, with a coffee, because it reminds me of what I used to do--
Ben 45:37
before the pandemic.
Lexi 45:38
--in my youth.
Ben 45:39
Oh. [laughs]
Lexi 45:39
Before the pandemic, where on Sunday mornings, I would go get a coffee and like walk around Inglewood, or go for, like, a river walk.
Ben 45:47
Not worry about stopping into shops or seeing people.
Lexi 45:49
Yeah. Or wearing-- like, should I wear just one mask or three masks? Or do I wear a mask and a face shield? Ugh!
Ben 45:57
This is the thing. I feel like I have a way easier time dressing the little character, the little me, than I do me in real life, and I've got good style in Animal Crossing.
Lexi 46:09
Okay, this is another tangent. John got me a couple of new packs for Sims 4 over Christmas as, you know, a very nice thing to do, and one of the free packs was Korean fashion from like the-- I can't remember-- like, the Busan Airport or something, and it's so delightful. I love the fashion, and I try to dress my character up like they're going to the international airport in Korea, and they look very nice, and everything is pressed, and there's long tan coats, and I love it. That's the type of fashion I wish I had.
Ben 46:45
Yeah, I wish I could dress like, basically, any character that I think looks good in real life, but I just can't do it.
Lexi 46:52
Classy pop star from Korea. That's what I want.
Ben 46:54
I don't wanna wear pressed things in real life. I wanna wear work shirts, and flannel, and some comfortable denim.
Lexi 47:02
I don't know what I wanna wear in real life. I feel like there's what I wish I wanted to wear, but then I know myself and I'm like athletic wear from Atmosphere or Mountain Equipment Co-op.
Ben 47:15
Yeah, it's just-- I wear Patagonia now. Ever since I got introduced to Patagonia, that's basically it. Dadagonia.
Lexi 47:22
I'm more of a Columbia-type person. I also like Patagonia, but you know.
Ben 47:26
I got a weird shape. I'm wide like a door. [Lexi laughs] I'm 6'1" and, like, 54 inches across in my shoulders, like, so Patagonia is basically the only clothing I've ever found where it's like, "Oh, okay, this actually, like, fits me. Like, I feel like a normal human being who wears a t-shirt, and it doesn't either crop too short, or the sleeves are too short or whatever." Yeah, dressing as somebody who's over six feet is not always easy to do.
Lexi 47:53
That's why I like Columbia because it's made for people that go hiking and have, like, really big legs, and I'm basically built like a Weeble Wobble, like a snow person.
Ben 48:03
Sure.
Lexi 48:04
And not a lot of ladies clothes-- like, a lot of ladies clothes, right now are like crop tops, or low-ride--
Ben 48:11
Are we back to crop tops?
Lexi 48:13
We're back to-- I don't think crop tops ever really left, in some ways. Crop tops are back.
Ben 48:17
Okay.
Lexi 48:17
And flowy. Like, "No. That's just... Give me some type of muumuu couch covering."
Ben 48:25
Yeah, I, basically cosplay as a construction worker. Like, somebody who's-- [Lexi laughs] It's my great secret.
Lexi 48:34
If I had to say what I cosplay as, as you know how I dress, it would be, like, my grandma's couch.
Ben 48:40
Normcore. I like it. [Lexi laughs] Normcore is cool.
Lexi 48:43
Is that what it's called?
Ben 48:44
Yeah, it's a thing.
Lexi 48:47
I like comfy core.
Ben 48:47
Comfy core is also thing, I'm sure.
Lexi 48:51
Probably. Anyway, we digress.
Ben 48:55
Yeah. Even the stuff that I wear in Animal Crossing, that is exactly like what I'd wear in real life, still looks better in Animal Crossing.
Lexi 49:01
Oh, everything looks better. The food. I really like the food, how like the steam comes off of it. Everything looks amazing.
Ben 49:07
Cooking is a great thing that they added this time. I really like it. I just wish you could do more with it.
Lexi 49:12
Mm-hmm.
Ben 49:13
All you can really do is sell it.
Lexi 49:15
And give it to people as gifts. That's it.
Ben 49:17
[disappointedly] Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I should be able to have, like, a dinner party or something.
Lexi 49:21
Yes.
Ben 49:22
I guess you can consume it yourself.
Lexi 49:23
But I would like to call all my villagers over for, like, a picnic. Like, you could pick a location, like, "We're all going to creepy Mott's house for some tomato soup." That'd be great.
Ben 49:33
Maybe don't do that. Fuck Mott.
Lexi 49:35
Let me ask you a question.
Ben 49:36
All right. Hit me.
Lexi 49:37
The kangaroo villagers.
Ben 49:40
Yeah.
Lexi 49:40
Do they know that there's a little person in their pouch?
Ben 49:43
They never talk about them.
Lexi 49:45
They never talk about them. I have Kitt, who I quite like, on my island.
Ben 49:49
Mm-hmm.
Lexi 49:50
And Kitt will often talk about, like, "Just me sitting here over here. Love a solo walk in the morning," and I'm like, "You've got a little buddy, literally attached to your body."
Ben 50:00
Their homes aren't built out for those things.
Lexi 50:03
Right.
Ben 50:03
It's really hard to say. It would be interesting if animals could actually get out, like the kids, the joeys could get out and be referenced.
Lexi 50:10
Yeah. That's what-- I wasn't sure if it was like, "That's your baby," or, "That's, like, your conjoined twin that doesn't talk," maybe?
Ben 50:18
I don't know.
Lexi 50:19
But then, I don't know.
Ben 50:20
It could be just like a stuffed animal that they dress like themselves to pretend like they haven't--
Lexi 50:24
But, they blink.
Ben 50:25
Oh.
Lexi 50:25
They blink and they, like, nod at you, and you're like, "Eugh! What are you?"
Ben 50:29
You don't want them blinking.
Lexi 50:30
But I do like the kangaroos as a general species.
Ben 50:34
Who else do I like? Celeste, I don't really care about. I do like Blathers, as much as I was harping on him before. I think he's great. He's always open. He doesn't shut down. I can go to the museum whenever I feel like it. I love the museum. The museum's basically one of my favorite things in the game.
Lexi 50:49
Mm-hmm. Oh, they did such a good job.
Ben 50:51
Completing it is probably my primary goal, but also, aside from paying off my mortgage, but also, it's just beautiful in this game.
Lexi 50:58
Oh, yeah.
Ben 50:58
I feel like I'm actually in a real museum, and it's just so serene and so peaceful.
Lexi 51:02
It's gorgeous. Like, I actually have sat in there. My character sits in there, and it's just, it's beautiful to look at. Just have a little sit and look around.
Ben 51:11
Yeah, it's really calming. I like reading about the bugs.
Lexi 51:14
Mm-hmm. I like reading about the dinosaurs.
Ben 51:17
The dinosaurs is good. I really liked how they did it this time with, like, the little evolutionary trails between different creatures and stuff like that, and the results of, like, the different humanoid animals at the top. [both laugh] "Oh, that's how the cat villagers evolved."
Lexi 51:33
From a single dinosaur.
Ben 51:35
Pretty great.
Lexi 51:36
Hey, how do you feel about the Able Sisters?
Ben 51:38
I like 'em. I think I like them.
Lexi 51:40
It's a tragic backstory.
Ben 51:42
Wait, what? [Lexi chuckles] What's tragic?
Lexi 51:45
Well, there's the three sisters, and then the one sister has left.
Ben 51:48
Labelle. Or Label.
Lexi 51:49
Labelle. And she leaves to start her own clothing line, and she never goes... Like, I feel like they even made a comment about, like, they don't talk anymore.
Ben 51:58
Oh, they seem very proud of her, and, like, talk to her all the time, and they're like, "She's back in town visiting."
Lexi 52:03
Do they?
Ben 52:05
"Oh, we're so proud."
Lexi 52:06
The rest of the island does. The sisters--
Ben 52:07
Oh, the sisters mention her all the time, I promise. In the last game, New Leaf, she had her adjoining store.
Lexi 52:14
Yeah, her little hat store.
Ben 52:16
Yeah, yeah, to sell her stuff. But yeah, she's off there trying to be, you know, haute couture.
Lexi 52:22
Yeah.
Ben 52:23
Label Label's a little fucked up, but you know, whatever.
Lexi 52:25
Yeah, I don't-- if I'm honest, I don't care for her clothes at all. The hot pink with the little label on it? I don't care.
Ben 52:31
Yeah. No, I don't usually wear her stuff. It's not my fit. I do talk to... I forget the two in the actual store, what their names are. Sable and...
Lexi 52:43
Mabel?
Ben 52:43
Mabel, yes. The one that works at the sewing machine.
Lexi 52:47
Yeah.
Ben 52:48
In every game, you have to get her to warm up to you by talking to her every single day, and I like that part of the game.
Lexi 52:52
Yeah.
Ben 52:53
Like, "I'm gonna make you like me. I'm gonna talk to you every day and make you like me."
Lexi 52:57
Oh, yeah. And then she starts to give you little gifts. I really appreciated that. I thought that was cute.
Ben 53:02
I think it's fucked up that Timmy and Tommy are running the store now since Tom took over as dictator.
Lexi 53:09
[chuckling] The dictator.
Ben 53:10
They're like sick.
Lexi 53:11
I just don't like how they do everything together. Like, it's not efficient. One of you should be at the till, the other one's helping customers, and then you swap.
Ben 53:18
Yeah, it's a little-- it's a little Shining, isn't it?
Lexi 53:21
It is a little creepy. "Just split up, you guys. You're your own individual people."
Ben 53:26
Maybe next game, they'll be able to move on. Who do I dislike? I don't like Kicks. I don't care for Kicks.
Lexi 53:32
Eh.
Ben 53:32
I find his inventory stagnant and uninteresting.
Lexi 53:35
I'm not a shoe person, so I don't care for shoes or bags.
Ben 53:38
Yeah, that's fair. I do like shoes, but I just feel like I always get the same ones from him. It doesn't switch up enough. Leif is kind of boring. Once you get the couple of things Leif has to sell, he's sort of donezo. He was more interesting in the last game, and I can't remember why. I feel like it's 'cause he had a shop. He'd clean up all your weeds if you paid him. This time, he'll just take weeds from you for money.
Lexi 53:59
But, you can hire him to do weeds on your island once he's on Harv's Island.
Ben 54:04
Can you? I thought it was just the other way around. I thought you could just get him to pay you for the weeds you pick.
Lexi 54:09
No, he's recently started asking me about like, "Hey, would you like to talk about weed control in your island?"
Ben 54:13
Whoa, you sounded really good right there.
Lexi 54:15
Right here?
Ben 54:17
Yeah.
Lexi 54:18
Oh! I was... Okay.
Ben 54:20
You found a magic spot?
Lexi 54:21
This is-- I'm, okay, up against the wall with the microphone in my hand. Gotcha.
Ben 54:25
I mean, it didn't sound, like, not good before, but then, when you moved back there, it was suddenly just, like, creamy, rich, wonderful, warm tones.
Lexi 54:34
Weird. Okay, this is the spot. This is where I record-- or this is how I record my other podcast.
Ben 54:40
Art Intervention, which is a wonderful show and if you haven't listened to it, you should. From what I understand, you'll be appearing at the Hot Docs Podcast Festival in Toronto, coming up here pretty quick.
Lexi 54:52
Oh, Ben. Yes, thank you. And, not to be confused with Hot Dogs Festival, as many people have asked me how I got into that type of culinary. I do love a good hot dog.
Ben 55:00
How do we get into the Hot Dogs Festival, 'cause I wanna be there? [Lexi laughs] Do you need a podcast for the Hot Dogs Festival? Where is the Hot Dogs Festival? I don't even know of one. Maybe we should sponsor a Hot Dogs Festival here in our city. Who doesn't?
Lexi 55:16
They're delicious.
Ben 55:17
And, nope. It won't be weird.
Lexi 55:19
No. Is Tubby Dog still open?
Ben 55:22
Yeah, but I don't fuck with that anymore.
Lexi 55:24
Ah, but it was so cool when it first opened. Like, "What? A store that only sells hot dogs?"
Ben 55:29
Yeah, yeah. So was Vicious Circle when we'd go and get our cocktails.
Lexi 55:35
Oh, Vicious Circle. Man, the late '90s/early 2000s in Calgary, that was when it was slappin'. If you were going to--
Ben 55:45
Marry--
Lexi 55:45
--do a little bit of a creative pitch--
Ben 55:47
Sorry, I gotta cut you off. Sorry.
Lexi 55:48
You're gonna do marry/fuck/kill?
Ben 55:49
Yes. [Lexi laughs]
Lexi 55:52
The Animal Crossing version.
Ben 55:54
Is it marry/fuck/kill or fuck/marry/kill?
Lexi 55:57
I think it's up to you. Follow your heart.
Ben 55:59
Okay, let's marry/eff/kill. [Lexi sighs] Go for it. Who'd you marry?
Lexi 56:05
Okay, marry? I would marry Raymond.
Ben 56:07
Okay. I don't know who this is. Give us a description. Who's Raymond?
Lexi 56:10
He is one of the cat villagers. He's always-- he's, like, a businessman, but he's, like, got a little bit of a sense of humor.
Ben 56:20
Oh, okay.
Lexi 56:21
A little dry humor, so even though, you know, he's maybe, like, a financier during the day but, at night, he likes to make some, you know, jaunty little comments and sarcasm all over the place. I don't know where I was going with that one, but...
Ben 56:35
Just like your partner in real life.
Lexi 56:37
Yeah. [laughs]
Ben 56:40
A financier who likes to dress in suits.
Lexi 56:42
He was really popular for a while there. Like, people were bartering to get Raymond to come to their island, but--
Ben 56:47
Oh, really? Wow. Weird.
Lexi 56:48
--he was one of those ones where people were, like, spending Bitcoin or some shit to try to get them.
Ben 56:53
Good god.
Lexi 56:54
And I don't know how you can trade villagers, but people were trading villagers back and forth, and Raymond was, like, hot commodity.
Ben 57:00
Haven't yet unlocked all of the different available features on this game.
Lexi 57:06
Yeah, I'm still working on it. But yeah, so I would marry Raymond. What's the next one?
Ben 57:10
Eff.
Lexi 57:12
[sighs] Brewster. I mean...
Ben 57:14
Yeah.
Lexi 57:15
Right?
Ben 57:15
I think we're gonna have a Daily Double on that one. [Jeopardy Daily Double zapping]
Lexi 57:19
There's no other answer there. It has to be Brewster.
Ben 57:22
Brewster fucks, as they say on the internet. You just know he does.
Lexi 57:26
Eugh.
Ben 57:27
Okay, who's your kill? [chuckles]
Lexi 57:29
Um... Pietro.
Ben 57:31
Yeah. All right. Good one. Good choice.
Lexi 57:34
"See you in hell, you demon sheep!"
Ben 57:36
[laughing You demon. He's got those eyes.
Lexi 57:40
God.
Ben 57:40
Yeah, terrible.
Lexi 57:41
It's the horns that scare me. I don't know what it is.
Ben 57:44
Oh, it's the color, I think. [Lexi shudders] It's the garish color, and then when you go into his house it's some sort of evil game show?
Lexi 57:49
Yes.
Ben 57:49
Like, "What are you doing? You're just broadcasting by yourself? Are you a streamer? Do you murder people live on air while spinning that giant wheel?" [wheel clicks]
Lexi 57:56
Yes, he does. It's like a whole snuff thing. Eugh! God, he's the worst.
Ben 58:00
Yeah, I'll pass.
Lexi 58:02
Okay, who would you... Let's... What's your three?
Ben 58:05
Okay, marry. I'd marry... Let's see. Oh, man. I haven't ever thought about this, which is unusual. [Lexi laughs] I guess Isabelle. She's great. She's really organized, and she takes care of the town and yeah. That seems all right.
Lexi 58:23
Yeah. That's a good pick.
Ben 58:25
Makes a mean cup of coffee. [laughs] Which brings us to fuck, which is-- And Brewster's the Daily Double.
Lexi 58:31
I was gonna say. It's a good segue. [along with Jeopardy Daily Double zapping] Ding-ding-ding!
Ben 58:37
Yeah, just tell me what you want, Brewster. Tell me what to do. [chuckles] Sounds great.
Lexi 58:41
Eugh.
Ben 58:41
Let's go.
Lexi 58:45
[laughing] Oh, god.
Ben 58:45
God, could you imagine what he'd look like in real life?
Lexi 58:47
I don't want to.
Ben 58:48
It would be so awful. Mustache, bald.
Lexi 58:52
I'm sure you could find some fan art on the internet that would really give you a--
Ben 58:57
And we're going to Wikipedia.
Lexi 58:58
Oh, don't do that.
Ben 59:00
Brewster as a human. [old-school computer bleeping] [scratching record, DJ-style]
Lexi 59:06
And this will be the last time you ever sleep.
Ben 59:09
Nah. I've seen worse. Okay, I'm gonna link you this. This is pretty good. I mean, it's not attractive, but it could be worse.
Lexi 59:19
God bless the fan art people.
Ben 59:21
That's what we're here for.
Lexi 59:22
You know? That's not bad.
Ben 59:25
Could have been worse, right? And it looks like, kind of, on point.
Lexi 59:28
Yeah. Yeah. That's a good--
Ben 59:30
Yeah, I see it. Yeah, that's a show notes link, for sure. I'd better leave that up and not lose it.
Lexi 59:36
That's a pretty decent-- that's a great fan art if I do say so myself.
Ben 59:41
There's another one that doesn't work for me. I don't think it's even him. I have to show you this one too.
Lexi 59:45
Oh, that's not Brewster. He doesn't have a big, poofy chest.
Ben 59:48
Like, I get where they're coming from, but that's not Brewster.
Lexi 59:50
Yeah.
Ben 59:51
That's like Brewster's little brother or something. [Lexi laughs]
Lexi 59:54
Yep, that's him. Oh, god.
Ben 59:56
Whoops. Found the porn.
Lexi 59:58
It's there, just under the surface.
Ben 1:00:00
Yeah. That was, like, three clicks to porn. Jesus. Okay, we'll pass on it. I know I said I'd eff him, but I don't wanna see that.
Lexi 1:00:06
It was just for jokes. It was just jokes, not real. [Ben laughs]
Ben 1:00:11
It's for real, but it's also not for-real-for-real, you know? Like, it's for real, but not for real.
Lexi 1:00:16
I wanna be very clear that no. It's not for real for me. [both laugh] Yeah.
Ben 1:00:21
Don't walk this back. Don't leave me hanging out here on my own. [Lexi laughs] All right. Kill? God, there's just so many to choose from. I strongly detest Elvis.
Lexi 1:00:34
Oh, good pick. Yep.
Ben 1:00:36
I dislike him, but I don't know if I dislike him enough to kill. Hmm... maybe Sahara.
Lexi 1:00:43
Oh, yes! Sahara is very annoying.
Ben 1:00:46
You know, it's sort of racist trope, too. I don't really think they thought that one through, like, a camel who talks in sort of a faux Middle Eastern dialect isn't really my bag.
Lexi 1:00:58
Yeah.
Ben 1:00:59
That should be clear that's not why I'm killing him. I'm killing him for being insulting to people, and also sort of annoying. I don't like that I can't see the rugs before I purchase them. I'm supposed to buy them sight unseen.
Lexi 1:01:10
Yes. That just bugs the hell out of me because I have wound up with some ugly-ass carpet.
Ben 1:01:16
Yeah, yeah, so--
Lexi 1:01:16
I'm trying to make an oasis in my house, a beautiful, relaxing, well-coordinated place, and then you give me, like, a hot pink shag rug. Eugh!
Ben 1:01:25
Or, in my case, literally an oasis, palm trees and some water, and I want a little island rug and I've never gotten one.
Lexi 1:01:25
[sympathetically] Oh.
Ben 1:01:33
Yeah.
Lexi 1:01:34
That's unfortunate.
Ben 1:01:35
Yeah, yeah. Sahara's-- no one likes Sahara. I dislike him.
Lexi 1:01:38
I would like to see a remake of Battle Royale done with Animal Crossing characters.
Ben 1:01:44
You mean the Japanese movie?
Lexi 1:01:45
Yeah. Battle Royale as done by Animal Crossing. The very disturbing book, Manga, movies, just so that you can have some really, like, epic kills with some of these characters.
Ben 1:01:59
That seems like a fan project you should be working on. Just a shot-for-shot...grisly. I don't like Sahara. I'm not sure I'd murder Sahara. Sorry. I'm trying to walk this back. Maybe Gulliver?
Lexi 1:02:11
Oh, I ignore him.
Ben 1:02:12
'Cause, at first, I like Gulliver. I like him, like, once or twice, and then I'm sick of digging up his, like, communicator pieces and going through all that ridiculous dialogue. [Lexi laughs] And that's not his--
Lexi 1:02:22
Is that what the island is?
Ben 1:02:23
It's the game writers' fault for not making his dialogue more interesting, and cycle through between his visits. It's, like, literally the same thing every time. Nah, I'll kill Gulliver. He seems like he's trapped in purgatory, anyhow.
Lexi 1:02:37
Yeah, this is lost. I bet you someone out there has made a beautiful lost island with the others and everything.
Ben 1:02:43
Yeah, it might be. [chuckles] [Lexi laughs] "Did you find the numbers on the underside of the bunker?" "Ah, yes. Animal Crossing player recreates the study room from Community." That's not what I was looking for. Jesus.
Lexi 1:02:55
Ah, just gonna take a quick look, here.
Ben 1:02:58
I'll stand by the point where we said it probably happened. Someone's done it. We believe that. What would you like to see from the next Animal Crossing game?
Lexi 1:03:05
Oh, two things. I would like for there to be a restaurant, like a patio restaurant where you can go and eat with your villagers. Love it. I would like for it to be maybe not another island. Like, a different location would be fun, like going back to the mountains or something. Like, just pick a new location.
Ben 1:03:23
Do you wanna be able to work at this restaurant?
Lexi 1:03:25
Yeah. I wanna be able to have a little job or, like, build a little store where you can sell your own wares or something? Like, I would love to have a little plant shop.
Ben 1:03:34
Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah, you should be able to have a storefront. And that just prompted me. Like, what I want from a game is maybe just a little bit more, like, depth in sort of the different areas, like a little bit more mini gameish-ness.
Lexi 1:03:47
Yes.
Ben 1:03:49
Not like a crazy amount, but I miss, like, how you used to be able to work at Brewster's. You can't do that anymore.
Lexi 1:03:53
Yeah.
Ben 1:03:54
Back in the old game, you could work at Brewster's, do a shift there, and now you can work at that Happy Home Academy, but I don't eff with that, either.
Lexi 1:04:01
Yeah.
Ben 1:04:02
Maybe that's who I'd kill: Lottie. [Lexi laughs] Lottie, the capitalist otter who wants to sell people vacation homes. "Some people don't even have one home, you asshole."
Lexi 1:04:11
Do you have the Happy Home Expansion Pack?
Ben 1:04:14
Yeah, I did. I don't know why. I must have... I don't-- like, what else did it add to the game? I feel like there was some stuff on the main island that you got by doing that, but I don't remember what it was.
Lexi 1:04:26
See? I'm so cheap that I was like, "$40? Mm, no. Absolutely not." So, I just keep plugging away sans island.
Ben 1:04:34
Ah, give it a shot. See what you think. I did make a really beautiful-- you have to wear a uniform when you're working there, and I made a beautiful, like, skirt with a pineapple hat. [Lexi laughs]
Lexi 1:04:42
How very SpongeBob of you.
Ben 1:04:47
That was worth it. Yeah.
Lexi 1:04:48
Yeah. I don't know. Like, I would like to be able to go visit other people a little easier. I can't fucking figure out how to go visit other people.
Ben 1:04:56
Haven't you been to my island?
Lexi 1:04:58
No. Every time I try to go to someone's island, it's like, it doesn't work, so I don't know. That's basically the only reason why I got Nintendo Online is that I can go visit people and I can't figure it out.
Ben 1:05:10
Okay, you need to come to my island. I'll walk you through it via text and you can get all the fruit trees that you don't have yet [Lexi gasps] 'cause I have everything.
Lexi 1:05:17
[whispers] Oh, my god. Do you have everything? Oh, my god. Yes, I need cherries. I need peaches. What else? There's something else I needed.
Ben 1:05:25
I got 'em. I got 'em.
Lexi 1:05:26
Amazing.
Ben 1:05:27
I've got 'em all. Not just coconuts.
Lexi 1:05:30
I've got coconuts. I've got oranges, pears, apples.
Ben 1:05:34
Okay, I did like that they added the farming thing. I want more from the farming and cooking, as well, but then that pushes us a little too Stardew-y, I guess.
Lexi 1:05:41
Yeah. But everything's trying to be Stardew, so just, eh, lean into it.
Ben 1:05:45
I guess so. I did like it though. It feels different. It doesn't feel the same. Like, I don't have to manage the crops in the same way I do. They're not gonna die if I neglect them, which I do often until I wanna cook something.
Lexi 1:05:56
I made a community garden so that my villagers can come deal with my crops, and I don't have to do shit to them 'cause they're always watering them.
Ben 1:06:03
Yeah, my crops are communal.
Lexi 1:06:04
Perfect.
Ben 1:06:06
They're out there for everyone.
Lexi 1:06:07
What else is there? So there's wheat, there's carrots, potatoes, tomatoes.
Ben 1:06:12
Sugar cane.
Lexi 1:06:13
Is that it?
Ben 1:06:16
I don't know. That's what I've got. I've got pumpkins, carrots, tomatoes, wheat, sugar cane and potatoes. Is that it? I just got potatoes.
Lexi 1:07:21
I think that's it. Yeah. Well, you know, that's a good place to start.
Ben 1:07:27
And you know what? Maybe that's a good place to stop.
Lexi 1:07:30
Fair enough. Fair enough. I mean--
Ben 1:07:33
It seemed like it might have been a good transition, but maybe it was bad. [chuckles]
Lexi 1:07:37
And then just end there. [Ben laughs]
Ben 1:07:39
Maybe this is a good place to stop the episode. We out!
Lexi 1:07:42
[Along with final notes of Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits melody] Bye bye. [Dork Matters theme music "Dance" by YABRA plays] Thanks for listening to Dork Matters. If you like the podcast, subscribe, give a rating, and tell a friend about us. If you are a fellow dork and have a dork issue that you think we need to discuss, tell us on our social media. You can find us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also check out original art and other content from Ben and myself.
Ben 1:08:03
We'd like to say a big thank you to YABRA for the use of our theme song, Dance, off of their Astral EP, as well as a thank you to Jess Schmidt for producing and editing our podcast. Thanks, Jess.
Voiceover 1:08:14
[echoing] Dork Matters.
Lexi 1:08:17
This podcast is created on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Nations, which includes the Siksika, the Piikani, and the Kainai. We also acknowledge the Stoney Nakota Nation, Tsuut'ina, and Metis Region 3.
Ben 1:08:30
[electronic arpeggio music plays] Dork Matters is a proud member of the Alberta Public Radio Podcast Network.
